History Box: BBC1 11/10/97

BBC1: 11 OCTOBER 1997

October 1997: a weird time to be alive, especially in Britain. Saturday, October the eleventh is barely six weeks since Princess Diana’s death, and we’re still trying to go back to normal, even while debating whether or not we should be doing that. If there’s one thing the BBC knows how to do, though, it’s keep calm and carry on. They had to, really, because in the interim they underwent the major regeneration which replaced the swirling globe with the balloon, among other things.

Your Saturday begins with Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars, probably the last time those old serials were leant on for daytime kiddie entertainment. There was a lot of it in the eighties; I was particularly taken with King of the Rocket Men. Not because of the story (I’m not sure I ever even saw it) but because of the fantastic title.

Then, after some news, the traditional Children’s BBC (they haven’t changed the listing to reflect that it’s officially abbreviated now) build-up to the big SatAM show. Today that consists of Romuald the Reindeer (likeable animated hijinks from Siriol starring Nigel Planer, with insanely earwormy doo-wop theme tune by his brother Roger), Dennis the Menace (the good British version, of course), and Albert the Fifth Musketeer (a British-French-Canadian-American-Chinese-German-Venusian co-production), followed by an episode of The New Adventures of Superman (“Lois and Clark” not working as a pun in this country, and being pretty lame anyway).

The main event, though, is Live and Kicking. We’re in the Zoe-Jamie Imperial Phase, of course, although we are also post-Trev and Simon, and Blobby is unfortunately also here. History tends to associate his Live and Kicking stint with the year of Emma and Simon, but that’s unfair. We’ve also got Rugrats and Kenan Kel, plus music from Peter Andre, sorry, and Jimmy Ray.

After that, of course, Grandstand! The BBC still has just about enough sport to fill a Saturday afternoon. Specifically, between Footy Focus and Final Score, there’s world matchplay golf and some horses at Ascot. There’s even some legit football coverage at the end there, albeit highlights - the world cup qualifier between Scotland and Latvia (2-0 to Scotland). Meanwhile, that evening, England were playing Italy in Rome in what became one of the most legendary 0-0 draws in football history. That was on Sky, though - with delayed full coverage on ITV an hour later. Which was cool and I don’t think has been done since that Euro 2000 playoff.

After Moira Stuart with some news (“Princess Diana still dead”) it’s time for Saturday Night Light Entertainment. Specifically, Confessions with Simon Mayo. Based on the format he’s brought with him everywhere he goes - he still does it today on Greatest Hits TV, presumably interrupted every five minutes by adverts for WeBuyAnyCarDotCom. I’m not sure how well it worked as a Saturday Night TV entertainment format, but it ran to three series, so it got recommissioned at least once. The Broadcasting Standards Agency didn’t like it, though, largely because the Saturday Night format seemed to demand prizes being given for stories about setting people on fire or pretending to have a disabled child. Personally I’m still waiting for him to bring back the Identik-Hit Quiz.

It’s the last in the series of Confessions, because next week the nightmare begins again with a new series of Noel’s House Party. I joke, somewhat, but this really is the dark age of the Party. The series beginning next week will be the penultimate, with the show becoming increasingly manic, bloated and incomprehensibly busy, as Noel’s projects tend to eventually become. Meanwhile the BBC become increasingly concerned about the seemingly unstoppable and accelerating downward trend of the ratings until they fall out altogether and Noel simply refuses to come to work for an episode the following January, leading them to repeat the very show on next here on the 11th of October: a clip show of all the programme’s best bits, including presumably from the first few series when it was genuinely good.

At ten to eight, the National Lottery! Still limiting itself to twenty minutes worth of shiny-floored bollocks climaxing with some celebrity pressing the button; the BBC will soon try fitting the draw into other gameshow formats to make the schedules tidier. Your current host is the late Dale Winton, there’s music from Billy Ocean (a mere ten years after his last hit) and the button is being hit by the Two Dead Ladies.

After that, Casualty. This is the period where the show definitively made the decision that it wasn’t going to attempt being good television, since that wasn’t getting the ratings, and instead went all-in for melodrama. One of my favourite Casualty facts is that one season in 1990 when, after it was clear Doctor Who wasn’t coming back, Andrew Cartmel was appointed

its script editor (when that was still a sort of co-showrunner job) and brought half his McCoy-era writers with him - Ben Aaronovitch, Rona Munro, Ian Briggs, Stephen Wyatt, even guys he hadn’t had the chance to actually commission like Robin Mukherjee - and doubled down on the angry left-wing approach Unwin and Brock had started with. Unfortunately the producer was a tit and they didn’t get along, meaning the Cartmel Era of Casualty was just that one outlying season. I often find myself wishing the producer had sodded off instead and Cartmel, Aaronovitch and company had carried on. Probably still wouldn’t be on, but it would have been better while it was. Oh, and in today’s episode someone accidentally tears out their own lung while brushing their hair. Probably.

Next, part one of a two-part psychological thriller! Because those were fashionable at the time until critics started sneering at the term for coming to mean “gloomy melodrama that usually ends up knifey”, which wasn’t entirely unfair, to be honest. At least this one, Bright Hair, is based on a book, so it’s got that going for it. It’s about a teenager (a redheaded Emilia Fox) discovering a dead body and being severely traumatised by the experience, not helped when a charismatic teacher starts perving on her. Before long his wife’s dead and Fox can’t tell what’s real anymore. Fun times. It was supposed to be shown in early September but something or other happened to postpone it for six weeks.

That takes us to some news, and by now Italy vs England is on the other side (albeit pre-recorded), and given that it’s the biggest football match the team have played since Euro 96 there’s not much point in the BBC straining a muscle for the sake of this slot. So here, have some bollocks in the form of a US TV movie about a bartender (played by prettyman Ronny Marquette), out on parole for who cares, being re-seduced by Carol Alt and drawn back into crime and whatever you’re all watching the football anyway. Mark Dacascos is in it, that’s the sort of thing we’re talking about. Also supposed to have been shown on the 6th September, so it’s kind of fortuitous it’s landed here where no-one’s going to look anyway.

Oh so very next: another chance to see Clive Anderson All Talk from Thursday, featuring Stephen Fry discussing Wilde. The rise of streaming and magic recording boxes has eliminated this sort of thing as an option for filling dead space like this. After that, Steve Rider has highlights of the Golf that you could have been watching live on Grandstand earlier, and there’s a repeat of yesterday’s Top of the Pops, because they used to do that.

The day ends with The Bonnie Parker Story - the other Bonnie and Clyde film, with Dorothy Provine in the title role. Not particularly historically accurate - they changed Clyde’s name, so it’s not even Bonnie and Clyde - but energetic and exciting. Quentin Tarantino thought it was great, for what that’s worth. And it has Eldon Tyrell as Clyde’s - I mean Guy’s - brother.

That takes us to the weather and closedown, right at five to three - after which they’d have had to pay the announcer overtime. The announcer himself - Dan Austin - even pointed that out in the process (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrD3ZREoCWY). Enjoy the only briefly used Balloon-era closedown sequence, thoughtfully cut to God Save the Queen (as was). Shame they only lasted another month before News 24 came along - some kind of event having convinced the BBC it was a viable proposition to put rolling news on overnight.

Images used for the purposes of review and education only. No attempt at superceding or cricumventing existing copyright has been made or should be inferred.